Friday, August 21, 2009

In a slump...

Lately, I've been in a slump. Not just baby-related, although that never helps. But in the past month or so, I just feel sort of out of it. I don't really feel like going anywhere or doing anything. I just sit around at home and watch sappy movies, eat chocolate and sleep. Ok so obviously that's a bit overdramatized, but you get what I'm saying. It's just not a very happy place right now.

I've been trying to distract myself. Kenton has an appointment in a month - the clinic couldn't fit him in any sooner - but there's a chance a business trip may come in the way.

And you know what? I almost don't care. In fact, lately I don't even feel like having sex. I get so mad because of everything that's going on, feeling totally powerless - and everything seems like this colossal joke. I don't even want to think about any of it anymore, and I feel cranky almost all day, every day.

For the past week or so, my chest has been hurting - in the same way it usually hurts when I'm coming up on my period. Except I'm a good 2-3 weeks away. So I have no idea what's going on, and quite frankly I'm so fed up with this whole ordeal that I just want to pull the covers over my head and disappear.

The other day I saw a woman who was both larger (significantly so) and older than I am, with a tiny little rosey baby. And here I thought both age and obesity are supposed to almost guarantee that your chances of having a baby are zilch - and yet EVERYONE AROUND ME is having babies, whether they actually want them or not. My favorite one are the people who keep having "accidents". I literally don't know what to do with that.

So I don't know what I can say that I haven't said before...I'm just not feeling the love right now...

2 comments:

DawnMarieTTC said...

Hello, I started to write a reply to you on your blogs, but I got a little carried away and it would not fit in this little space they give people to reply in, so I have posted ('m writing it now) my reply in my blog, and hope that when you have time, maybe you can check it out. Best of luck with your TTC journy

http://wishingforababybump.blogspot.com/

DawnMarieTTC said...

I tried to post a comment before, but not sure if it was deleted or just never showed up. My comment was too long to post here so i made a blog about my comment to you. Here's my blog page if you want to read it. Hope you are feeling better today

http://wishingforababybump.blogspot.com/